Denying Myself

Mark 8:34
"When He had called the people to Himself, with the disciples also, He said to them, "Whoever desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."

I like simple verses.  Especially ones that I am qualified for.  Yes, I desire to come after Jesus.  But then it's not that simple.  Deny myself?  Take up my cross?  That goes against every fiber of my body.  Since I was a baby all I desire are things for myself and things that please me.  Take up my cross?  Am I willing or even able to carry a cross figuratively like Jesus spoke of?  He was predicting His own death.  My first reaction to this verse were on a smaller personal level with my wife and children.  Denying myself really starts when you get married - if you want to make the marriage work, and if I didn't learn it then, kids seal the deal  I have to think only about them and their needs ahead of my own.

Application - The thing about Jesus is that he isn't a 12-step program.  He didn't say - try denying yourself a couple of times this week and then we'll add to it.  He demands that we are all in.  Deitrich Bonhoeffer in Cost of Discipleship helps me see this too "When Christ calls a man, He bids him to come and die."  This isn't natural, but if I want to follow Him, I need to deny myself.  It's not confusing or difficult to understand, this is just hard to do.